Grocery Shopping

Ever since we've been married, Jeff and I have shared the duty of grocery shopping.  It's something we'd do together once a week, and once Kaeden came along he joined in on the fun.

As of late however, I would rather pour burning hot water on my eyeballs than go grocery shopping with Kaeden.  [No offense Bug].

So, I've been flying solo on the weekly trips for some time.

Kaeden has reached that age where his attention span and ability to stay sitting while strapped to a germy shopping cart have reached a maximum of five minutes [if I'm lucky].  Instead he throws himself around and screams leaving everyone in the grocery store looking at me and thinking, "Oh, she's THAT lady."

I hate to say it, but when I go grocery shopping with Kaeden, I feel like I help Walmart live up to that screaming child hell hole it's come to be known as.

This week however, I was faced with two options:

1.  Take Kaeden grocery shopping with me.

2.  Allow my family to starve.

I'll be honest, I'd probably survive a few more days what with my ample fat stores, but looking at my child in the eyes as he asked for a "baba" with no milk in sight is something I'd prefer not to endure.

So shopping we went.

Man, I prepared for that trip like I was packing for a one-week trip to a foreign country.

I loaded his diaper bag with any and every toy I thought I might be able to present to him as a distraction [P.S. NONE of them worked].

Baba?  Check.

Cleansing breaths and meditation before walking out the door?  Check.

And we were off.

He wasn't too bad.

He did get a little fussy, but I was able to find items throughout the store to distract him.

Sometimes this meant that I would open a package as I tossed it into the cart and let Kaeden have a treat as we shopped. [Notice the bread below].

Let me just say:  I've always been against this practice.

I feel weird opening and consuming something that I haven't paid for.  Even if I have every intention of doing so.

I feel like the Walmart cameras are watching me, and at any minute a swarm of blue smock wearing people are going to come down and surround me, then take me in for questioning.  In fact, when I open the package, I kind of hold it out, so it's obvious what I'm doing, and then place the opened package in the cart on top, as to not appear as though I'm trying to pull a fast one.  Everything has to look deliberate.  Even if it's just a 99 cent item.  I'm pathetic.  I know.

But how do I justify it?

1.  It will keep Kaeden happy and therefore everyone around him happy.

2.  My grandma used to open the package of Oreos at the grocery store EVERY SINGLE TIME I was with her.  I adore my grandma.  Therefore, it is okay.  See the reasoning?

At the check out line I handed the checker a bunch of items and said, "I don't need these.  They were just serving as a distraction," as I gave her the biggest smile so that she wouldn't immediately judge my parenting skills.

Overall, I'd say the trip was a success. But nothing I'll be repeating anytime soon.