There Is A Lot of "Wrong" Going on Here

So...

Sometimes.....

in order to get Kaeden to behave well in public....

I tell him that if he's good....

he gets to go to the "Happy Meal Store."

So yeah.  I'm one of those mom's.

The one's who have to bribe their kids for a few moments of sanity.  I begrudgingly admit it, and often think of how many times the Super Nanny chick would look at my parenting and just sit in the corner shaking her head.

But I try.

In my defense, I usually only pull the Happy Meal bribe out in public situations in which Kaeden calming down and getting whatever done is to the benefit of his health.   Such as getting his stitches pulled out at the doctor's office, and getting his teeth cleaned at the dentist.

Tangent:  Kaeden has always been surprisingly good at the dentist.  When Jeff and I took him to his first visit, we sat on pins and needles expecting an all out freak out.  We had so much pride watching that little guy take all the newness in stride.

He even did really well at a follow up appointment when he had to have a couple of teeth drilled [because I suck as a mom....cue Super Nanny head shake].

But today, while talking to him about going to the dentist for a cleaning, he immediately started whining about not wanting to go.

He cried, and told me that he didn't want a poke [shot].  So I assured him there would be no poking.  Only teeth counting and tickling.  In our bathroom, he pointed at my vanity lights and said, "You see those lights?  I don't want them here," while holding his hand over his eyes.  So I told him, "Okay."

So we head to the dentist, and Oh.My.Gosh.  Kid freaked.  He was fine in the waiting room, but as soon as his name was called he screamed and hid behind me.  Needless to say, it went downhill from there.

He choked on the bitewing during his freakout trying to do x-rays.  He was insistent that he didn't want to lay down.  And anytime anyone came near his mouth with anything, he panicked.

But when the doctor came over and pulled the light over his head, he started screaming.  Then it clicked.  I don't think that the medicine they gave Kaeden to give him "amnesia" when he got his stitches last month did the trick.  I think the poor kid thought he was surrounded by adults saying things like, "Kaeden, this doesn't hurt," or "Hey buddy.  I'm just going to touch you softly," just meant that any minute a bright light would be in his face, his body would be restrained, and there'd be a bunch of poking, prodding, and pain going on.

I kinda felt horrible.

But at the same time, Jeff and I couldn't help but giggle a bit at his sweet innocence.

I hope he remembers how much this appointment really didn't hurt six months down the road.

And if not, perhaps he'll remember at least getting to pick a prize at the end.

Which brings us back to the whole bribery thing.  The doctors do it, and they get to be the hero.  Why not me? [See how I just brought that tangent full circle? Sometimes I amaze myself]

Bottom line, bribery usually works.

Amidst a freakout, I'll divert Kaeden's attention and get him talking about nuggets and a toy.

And then the shame mounts as I have to say something like,

"I think they have the Little Ponies back this time."

Errrrr......what?

Yes.  When the drive-thru attendant asks whether my Happy Meal is for a girl or boy, I always sheepishly say, "Girl," and then hope that they don't question me when I pull through to the first window with nothing but two boys in carseats.

Every time.

Because I'm either really confusing one of my sons, or I'm a mom eager to get my hands on some prime made-in-China pieces of girl crap.

But....

The girl's toy is usually a lot more interactive, and happy.

I honestly don't care that my son chooses a small teddy bear over some Star Wars figurine.

Or a pony that has brushable hair over just another hot wheels car.

In fact it kinda irritates me that McDonald's chooses toys based on gender at all.

I'm sorry, but Build-a-Bear Workshop [a recent girl's offering] is a store for both boys and girls.  So why do I have to order a girl's meal to get one?

Oh boy.  Rant over.

So anyway.... yeah.

My kid orders the girl's happy meal.

And it makes him happy.

Mission accomplished.  Right?